Preventing or Reducing a Child's Aggressive Behavior
The child who frequently hits, slaps, and bites other children or destroys their toys is not going through a stage. He is exhibiting an aggressive behavior that is upsetting to parents and other children. Aggressive behavior includes intentionally breaking things; pushing, kicking, or hitting other children; and verbally abusing playmates with threats of violence, excessive name calling, and age-inappropriate swearing.
The following suggestions will help you prevent or reduce aggressive behavior in your child.
- Keep your child away from people or playmates who act aggressive.
- Do not roughhouse with an aggressive child. To do so only serves to encourage aggressive behavior.
- Begin by helping an aggressive child to behave well in situations where he normally does not act aggressively. Later, you can work more directly on the aggressive behavior itself.
- Steer clear of all forms of physical punishment. Spanking and hitting can teach a child to spank and hit others.
- Refrain from all forms of verbal abuse.
- Make sure that each day you give your child at least 50 brief physical touches.
Hints for Dealing with Emotions of Becoming a Mother
- While it is easier said than done, try to prepare for the emotional effects of stress and lack of sleep–at the least make a pact with your spouse that all crying, shouting, and yelling during the first 3 months will be treated as material for stories of “how we fell apart while learning to be parents” and will be otherwise forgotten.
- Don’t try to be supermom. Some days, caring for your baby is all that you will get done.
- Take time for yourself without your baby. Hire a sitter, leave your baby with a close friend or your spouse, and get out.
- Reading is a cheap and easy way to escape.
- Keep yourself physically fit.
- Enjoy your baby! Rather than fight it, concentrate your energy and attention on nurturing that new member of your family. You can rest assured that you will soon have space for other goals in your life.
- Spend time with support groups and friends, and don’t be afraid to share both your fears and your joys.
- Realize that adjustment to life as a new parent comes slowly. Have faith: millions of parents before you have managed to get their lives under control after the arrival of a new baby. You will manage quite well, too.
- If you do have prolonged feelings of depression and are not able to satisfactorily communicate them to your spouse or friends, seek professional help: a few sessions with a counselor or minister may put everything into perspective.