New Mothers and their Friends
New Mother: Friendships and Isolation
Friends take time and energy–both of which is in short supply after you become a parent. Most new parents find the demands of parenting affect the number and intensity of friendships they can sustain, especially during the baby’s first couple of years. Good friends–including those who do not have children themselves–will support your decision to take good care of yourself and will not place any demands on you when you are learning how to manage being a new parent.
Hints for dealing with friends
- Be sensitive to how much “baby talk” your friends want to hear and don’t overdose them.
- Don’t ask for too much help with your baby from friends. Those who have no children may not understand your needs.
- Set time limits on social occasions. Your baby may be up and ready to eat at 6:00 AM the next morning!
- Listen to your friends and be a friend to them whenever you have the time and energy. As usual, the best prescription is, “if you want to have a friend, be one.”
- Never assume your baby is invited to a social occasion. Always check first.
Hints for dealing with isolation
After 3 months of taking care of a new baby, most new mothers feel lonely and isolated.
If you are feeling isolated:
- Recognize that almost every mother has some feeling of being trapped about this time and also wonders if the rest of her life is going to be a routine of bottles, dirty diapers, and lack of sleep.
- Join a parenting support group. It helps to talk with other parents.
Find friends who also have small children. Playgroups for babies are a good place to meet other moms and dads.